Vacation to a place called........Home

I packed my bags to catch a flight from JFK in the next couple of hours, with a few troubling thoughts in my head related to a possible change at work. An extensively busy work schedule with limited friends and social life, an attempt to rediscover the “spontaneous” myself”, a break off with my girl friend etc. led me to have mixed feelings about this trip. On one hand, I was excited with the idea of meeting my family and getting away from the busy schedule in NYC and on the other, I was slightly worried of being MIA from my real life.

It was an amazingly exhaustive flight to Kolkata, where my cousin Niku joined me for our trip to Guwahati (note- Niku and I can be really dangerous when together). My trip to Guwahati was to attend a couple of weddings. My cousin Nina’s....which I found really amazing, considering she was born and raised in London , probably visited Guwahati only about thrice in her lifetime and yet decided to get married here and Kheti’s.......who is one of my best friends since school. I was looking forward to meet my cousins from all over the world and the experience of the British Assamese wedding. Additionally, it was very important for me to be in Kheti’s wedding, which clearly could lead to an end of an era among our friends. I felt the timing for everything was perfect, but deep inside I was slightly worried that I would keep thinking about work and the break off, that could easily ruin the fun.

When I set foot in Guwahati, I get the exact same feeling, since the last 10 years. The air makes me feel nostalgic, the people make me feel warm and our house (specially my room and balcony) makes me feel safe and confident. I believe this is the only reason why I do not want to go back and settle in Guwahati, as I may not feel the same way if I did. It was no different this time, it was great to meet my family, even though I missed visiting “Aita” (she passed away few months back). I spent hours sitting in my balcony overlooking the entire city. It actually makes my mind stop wondering and takes me to a different zone. I wanted to find out if everyone feels the same sitting there and hence I brought my friends (Tusooo and Assoo) home to actually find out if they feel the same way. They did, we sat there for hours without speaking a word.

There have been only a few occasions in my life when things have gone beyond my expectation. It’s an amazing feeling when it does. Nina’s wedding and later our trip to kaziranga was one of those. During the wedding, I got the opportunity to play a very important role as part of the rituals- “the brother of the bride”, moved towards “re-discovering” the spontaneous “myself” (if you don’t know what I mean, read my earlier blog- “Another Year..of changes”) by walking up to the stage… grabbing the guitar and performing a song, made a bunch of really good friends who came all the way from London…great conversations…Bon fire jam sessions, table tennis matches, relaxation by the pool, jungle safari etc. and quite unlike me enjoyed taking up responsibilities during the trip. I had one of the greatest 4 days in a long time.

My trip to Guwahati will always be incomplete without the intense philosophical conversations about life with “Papa” and “my uncle (papu khura)”, and the regular gossip with “Ma”. Felt great to express my perspective about life and have”Papa” and “Papu Khura” to agree upon (not an easy task). It felt nice to see “Ma” feel comfortable with my answers to every bit of concern she expressed. I also got a sense of satisfaction in guiding “Niku (my cousin)” on life experiences, studies and career. Majority of the times I was hit with questions around my break off, woman in my life or right time for my own wedding, from ” Nina’s & my own Mom and Dad”, which was something new to me and was not prepared to handle. But I think I did ok and hopefully soon will have all the answers.

Conversations at home made me feel very responsible and matured, however, when with my school friends who came over for Kheti’s wedding (tussooo, asssooo and razooo), we still behaved 18 year olds (probably even younger, just because the drinking age is 18+ in India). The fear of Kheti’s wedding leading to the end of an era among friends was thrown out of the window, as we didn’t care. We laughed at senseless conversations, had “momos” like never before and even went to the extent of skipping few of wedding functions (knowing us, Kheti should be fine with that) to continue our drinking sessions in the car. Also, helped Niku explore the”shady” bars of the city, that can get quite addictive (he would agree even though not too many people know about it). It was a great time with friends, and really hope it remains the same.

After spending such memorable times with family, cousins, old friends, new friends clubbed in a short time of ten days, I was here again packing my bags to catch the flight back to New York. The flight to …busy schedules, tight deadlines and Bars (which in reality is my life and I enjoy it), I was struck with the same mixed feeling that I had on my way here. However, this time it was more towards the fear of missing the place….the people. While on the flight, the thoughtful person I am, made me wonder about the majority of the things I had written here. I felt great. Little I knew when I boarded the flight from JFK that this trip would end up being one of the most memorable trips of my life- a perfect blend of celebration, fun, reflection, discussions with family and leisure. It felt great to realize that every time I want to break free, need to reflect back on my life, think I am losing myself, need to rest, need answers……….simply need a vacation…..the best place to go is somewhere that always has something to offer……. a place called “Home”.